Last night I had dreams about disappointing EVERYONE. Yes, it was one of those kind of dreams. In the dream I was in my 20's and my parents wanted me to go to college (which, in reality, I never completed) and I chose not too. Thus, in the dream, I received a lecture on how disappointed they were. Then I chose not to be a realtor, which disappointed my boyfriend in the dream (in reality, I am happily married) and received yet another lecture. I was literally hiding from the lectures and when I woke up I thought to myself, "best not to disappoint anyone today!". Very strange, but I think I know where this is all stemming from.
With all these new adventures in business, Etsy, shows, etc..I believe I am so afraid of disappointing. I am afraid of disappointing the public, my family and, most of all, myself. What if I can't produce fast enough? What if people do not like my items? What if? There is nothing harder than putting all you have on your sleeve. Putting what you have created on the line and hoping that people will enjoy your imagination. If they do not like what you have created, it is not so easy to back to square one. When you take your heart, put it out into a material object, and wait to see if it brings approval, it is like holding your breath waiting for a scary moment to be over. However, when someone does appreciate and admire your creation, it is like all of that held breath is released and you can almost fly. That is why artists do what they do and that is why people continue on.
So, today I will allow myself to feel a little insecure. Today, I will allow myself to be well aware of the stakes. But, in the same token, I will allow myself to be exposed, to let things develop and to create without worry or shame. It is not an easy thing to do, but I believe the outcome is better when there is a little pressure and you do not want to disappoint.
- Keep dreaming and blessings on your day.
No comments:
Post a Comment